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Thursday, June 6, 2013

Something I Can Never Have

I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ear
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'til I don't want to sleep anymore

You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Popcorns and Thai Movie Infatuation

Though I love listening to music than watching movies, I still spend time watching a good film to relax quite often.  Recently, I’ve been watching a fair number of Thai movies; all thanks to my friend, Aldrin whom me and my other friend, Mark, used to mock because he is  exaggeratingly addicted to Thai movies.

The first time I watched a Thai movie it was Ong Bak, an action pack, ass-kicking, full martial arts movie with just captions/subtitles.  The first time I watched it, I was giggling the whole time.  Their accent and voices are like tickling me and I can’t help but chuckle from start to finish.  But then I found out that their language includes a lot of nasal and voice control, hence the funny (in an interesting way) tone.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Lunch Time Heat Stroke

This global warming is really getting serious.  Summer heat is really humid and warm, even the wind is sticky-hot.  If you go out, it will drain your energy like a wet cloth hung to dry, but if you stay inside the house you'll melt like a butter if you don't have an aircon.  It's making me think that since global warming is getting serious, let's all be serious about our environment too.

Okay, global warming isn't really what I wanna talk about.

Friday, April 26, 2013

I Story: My Reason

When I was in 2nd year college, a friend of mine lend me the book ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ by Robert Kiyosaki.  At the early stage of my “adult” life, I already knew that business is the way if I want to have the life that I dreamed of…the life with financial and time freedom.  I discovered a lot of things while reading the book; the three kinds of businesses, leverage, and the difference of a small from a big business.  I told to myself, “I’ll be in a business sooner or later”. 

Monday, March 25, 2013

The End: Starting Again

Now, to end my Love and Relationship series, I’ve decided to end it like how all relationships end…with a BREAK UP.

I know you are all saying, “What the heck, Ron!” with a hint of disgust.  

But c’mon, this is part of love and relationships too, right?  So I think it’s also fair to discuss about heart-aches.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Love: The Bigger Picture We Don't See

Let’s talk about LOVE.  The word that defines human being and the word that is currently associated with cheese.  

How do you define “love”?  When you hear people say it, or when you say the word LOVE what does it really mean?

Love is the highest moral value, and I quote my mentor for that as I agree.  It’s a strong emotion that makes us alive, and if not understood carefully and deeply, it destroys us.  It’s ubiquitous; you can find it anywhere and in everything.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Women: All Guys Are The Same...Terrible!

Men are all jerks…you just have to choose the lesser jerk or probably his “jerkiness” you can live with.” –Julia

I would agree on what my friend and big sister, we fondly call her Mommy Jules, say to our lady friends for advises on how to choose the right guy.  I mean, well yeah there are perfect relationships but it doesn’t mean that their guys are ‘perfect’, but it’s just that their down sides are often times bearable to their partners.  For example, a friend of mine doesn’t have a history of cheating, and he doesn’t smoke or drink, but he has a bad habit of forgetting special dates of their relationship.  To some women, it would probably result apocalypse! But to his girlfriend, it is something not big, because to her, that’s nothing compared to her past boyfriends who constantly cheats, or gambles, and whatnot. Logical right?  Now how do you define "jerk" or "bad guys"?

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The Book And The Reader: The End Is The Beginning Is The End

There are things in our lives that we don’t expect to happen, things that come to our lives and surprise us with happy and sad things.  There are exaggerated things, and there are also little things that to the eyes of others, it is superficial.  

I give you a story of a book.  I opened a very surprising book last 2012.  I’ve been noticing this book for quite some time already but never really thought of picking it up and opening it.

It was there lying beautifully on the shelf at the business store attracting my attention.  Finally one day, I got to check out the book.  At first I can’t seem to open it, I was just admiring its cover and read what was written behind it.  I got a glimpse of what was to happen. Well, honestly, I didn’t like it. It was scary.  But it was very striking not to open it, I said to myself, “I have to read it”. 

I’m always attracted to good books; books that make me happy and excited reading.  Books that I always think I’d keep on reading over and over again.  It happened already, but I ended up just keeping it to the shelf behind the door.

So finally, the day has come. I opened the book taking a risk of how much I may invest in.  And wow! It was beautiful.  Reading the first part was so exciting and everything was happening so fast.  I never felt tired reading it.  I always look forward to open it and read it.  Smile is always in my face every time I face this book, and don’t notice the time spending with it.

The story was about love, humor, adventure, and a few dramas.  It was unpredictable; it sometimes makes me sad and happy at the same time.  But a lot of times it makes me happy holding it close to me, staring at it, reading its words.  I cherish the moments I get to hold of it.

As I was reaching the middle of it, it had given me overwhelming emotions that I stopped reading it because it was beginning to become heartbreaking.  I wasn’t ready for it although I was already expecting it.  After a few days of seeing it just sitting around my table, with its cover right up facing me, I took a deep breath and started opening it again knowing that that part might happen again on the next chapters.  I had to take the chance, because I loved the book, I missed it.

As I read the next chapters, it was starting to become attractive again.  Then after a few chapters, it began to become confusing and out of control sometimes.  The jump of the topic and stories were like manic-depressive.  It was, most of the times, to the extremes.  But my interest and love that was built overtime for this book kept on pushing me to read it.  The two characters were even more confused than I was.  On and off, hot and cold, yes and no; which reminded me of that Katy Perry song.  I felt for the two characters; I know their hearts’ sides, and I felt deep sympathy on both of them being in their situation.  It wasn’t their fault, it was just their goddamn circumstance.

The story was getting the same premise every chapter until it surprisingly ended.  That’s when I noticed that the book was just thin and with just a few words on some chapters.  I wanted to read it more but it was over. Only blank pages left.

It was shocking for me.  Why did it end that way? The brightly colored pages became dull and dusty. It’s like the last pages were once wet and just dried up. It was sad. It was too sudden.  But something behind my head that tells me, “Well, that’s just it.  Learn to accept it.”

My heart didn’t want to close the book and wanted to start reading it on the first two chapters where it was the happiest.  But the book insisted itself to just shut down as if it was in control of me.  I can’t do anything, but close it.

 I was sitting on my bed, feeling heavy and drowned that the book is over.  I know that this book will be one of those that will be put in the shelf and be forgotten overtime.  I know I might just get a glimpse of it every time I pass by that worn out shelf, and just walk pass by it without remembering what story it has that made me got interested and fell in love with it. But all I know that time was I love it so much. I love the stories and the characters.  I love the pictures of what could have happened if it had a part two.  I love the cover and the words used in it.  I love the book even if I would imagine that it would be worn out over time from continuous reading. I just inexplicably love it.

I put the book over my headboard since I think I wasn’t ready in throwing it away.  Thinking what if time will allow me to open it again, and this moment, I would understand the story it was trying to tell me.  The hidden messages that were covered in the shadows of the misprints it had.  Or probably there will be a part two of this book that would be livelier and will end in a happy ending. What if, what if, what if.

Another side of me tells me not to hope and expect that this book will have a second one because it was not a pretty one.  Probably only a few of us would understand this book or fall in love with this book as it is, because, again…it was confusing.  No one in their right mind would continue to read it. I guess I was just too insane to still think this book was fantastic and would end well.

Now I don’t know what will happen with my amore and with this book.  It could end up lost or kept. Or it could end up me reading it all over again. But I hope I won’t keep on waiting for the part two that most likely wouldn’t come.  

All I really wanted is a book like a bible; something that even if it has all the ingredients of dramas and laughter, it would still make me grow, and ponder how happy I am having a book like one, and would bring me more closer to God’s love.  Something I wouldn’t wait for a part two, or three, because I love reading it over and over and over again with pure love and excitement.  Something I would carry everyday and open every hour, or minute, or even seconds.  That would be a wonderful book.  When will I find one?

For now, all I can say is, I still love this book just the same when I first opened it, I miss this book so much that I don’t miss taking a glimpse, but it hurts me with the stories it tells me.  I am confused.

In the end, this is just a book, even if it matters to me, the reader never matters to a book.

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