Warning: this blog is quite long hahahahaha
Way back in college, I used to have a lot of episodes wherein friends go to me for some advice during their relationship’s “dark moments”; even if I don’t think I’m that credible enough. In retrospect, maybe it’s because I was taking up Psychology back then, or maybe because I’m upfront and honest in sharing my two cent’s worth.
Then recently, I’ve been getting it again…stories of friends’ failed relationships and what not.
I’ve heard a lot of stories; from cheating to not-really-cheating-just-liking-somebody-else and the stuff. The complications of life where your heart and brain battle each other for dear life. There are some that are funny, there are some that I myself being moved by the story, or there are just some plain ‘stupidity’. No offense on the latter, but sometimes it’s a matter of “do pigs fly?” questions being asked and it's quite annoying. Well, again, it’s the battle of the vital organs.
But there is this specific situation that a few people I know, up to now, that is being asked, and it sort of really obscure and most of the times it's hard for me to enlighten them. Well, because it will demand such high level of maturity to handle this anomaly of judgment.
I guess we all have stories of our own, or maybe heard about this somehow. The dire situation of falling for someone in a relationship. Yes, it could sound like just a walk in the park tale, but it is actually has razed a lot of people that I know. Affected judgments, ripped hearts out, sleepless nights, kittens and puppies being killed…err…not really. But my point here is, if you do not understand this dilemma, you would end up hurting yourself awfully that it could and may result to excessive crying…seriously! Or probably just losing energy for like three and half-months…seriously!
This is a serious matter; for this is where cheating or fallen relationship starts.
You’ve probably also heard some of these lines, or probably said some of it yourself as well; lines like, “if you like him/her, then go for it…he/she might be the one”, or, “with him/her, it’s worth the risk”, maybe, “but he’s/she’s all that I’m looking for”, or even, “I haven’t felt like this before, just right now, and it’s him/her”, and the worst, “I’ve fallen for him/her, I have to take him/her from her/him”. I'm getting confused.
To like someone who is currently in a relationship is really a big risk, why? Well according to the grapevine…c'mon! do I really have to tell you?? Isn't it obvious? But alright, it’s risky because you might end up getting hurt really bad, or hurt the two people involved too. If let’s say you won and you got the person to break up with his/her partner and then you guys started dating, would you rather feel that he/she can do that to you again next time if he/she feels like someone is better than you? Or, if it was you in the situation, the person who is the partner that was kicked out because an a-hole tries to intrude, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?? Imagine one day you’re so gullible and happy, expecting a sweet moment with your ‘honey’, ‘baby’, ‘sweet potato’ or whatever endearment you’re using, then he/she suddenly tells you the abjectly confusing and heart-stopping line, “…it’s not you, it’s me” (symphony no. 5 starts playing). Now, would you like that to happen to you?
I know it’s hard, and yes, it’s even harder if the things you’re looking for in a partner (physically and personality wise) is in him/her and there’s a humongous sign in front of him/her that says ‘TAKEN’. Bah! It would really mess up your engines. This is the part where your brain will be conquered by your heartless heart.
Brain: “no, stop, it is not right!”
Heart: “Shut up!” Bang! Bang! “You pisashet”
Well, I’m not saying that by doing this, no happy endings will happen. I mean, there’s no impossible right? That certain action could sometimes lead to a really fairy taleish ending. If that so, then well and good, applause to thee knight and and it's shining armor.
This is my answer to this never ending problem -- YOU SHOULD RESPECT THE RELATIONSHIP always. Well, unless the bf/gf of the person you like is a pure ass-wipe who doesn’t really give a damn to their partners and like leeches who are just going on a happy free ride, then go ahead and take what’s not rightfully theirs. But be careful, sometimes there’s a thin line that separates what’s true and your imagination. If you are in this kind of a situation, you can interpret it in a positive way, like say…”everything I’m looking for for a man/woman is with him/her. That’s good! Now I’m aware, I’ll just find someone just like him/her”. This is the part where you really need to buy a maturity with good quality, not just the maturity you buy at Divisoria. Be in an abundance mindset, because when you start to think, “I might not find a man/woman like this again”, then this is when scarcity mindset comes in. Come on dude!! There are a lot of people in this beautiful world! I bet you can find one as long as you know what you’re looking for.
If the five main situations don’t permit it, then God doesn’t want that person for you. Accept it. Period.
In the end, it could be hard for some or to me even. But cliché, life goes on. It’s always about your decision if you want to be happy or you want to be someone who stares at the ground all the time. Just remember, whatever your decision is, it is your responsibility.
So what do you think?