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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Sunday Rest

It's is raining! What a way to relax on the last day of strongend. I like it, it revitalizes me and will prep me for the six busy days to come. Success, here I come!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The Angel

We all know that angels are up there, far from us and we are not bound to be with them. A spiritual being. Their beauty is extravagant but is impossible to hold. Angel...a word that is either negative or positive depending on the circumstances.

A friend of mine has this dilemma of grasping an angel. The irony of the desire of holding an untouchable is a bit disseminating. An awefully good experience.

A girl who is gorgeoulsy impeccable; a goddess of pristine beauty that will stumble woes for those who dare. She is not that easy subject for my friend. Not that she is royal or something, but...hmmm...let's just put it this way, she is a priced belonging of a respected individual. At least used to be. The big questions, "am I worth it?" and "is it worth fighting for?" stumbles upon.

My friend cannot do anything but to be discreet of what he feels. It will be considered as an abomination if it leaked out. The forbidden love. Hence the code name "Angel".

Is it just a coincidence that it was called for its beauty and disposses? Or was it because of her pure face of serenity in the eyes of my friend? I may not know the reason behind his unconscious, but I know that it is hard for him. Forced satisfaction of just being with her, texting her, chatting with her, or just seeing her smile is a thousand punishment.

Desiring to have her, an impossibility that will cause shudder and mishap for my friend. Touching the untouchable, loving a mere illusion...hence called "Angel".

Insight is better than eyesight when it comes to seeing an angel.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I'm So In Love With You

My Yoon Eun Hye! I love you so much! Saranghae! Saranghae! Waaaah!!! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Pilipinas

I'm back! the traffic, the pollution, the crazy people...kinda miss it. Philippines is great and I will contribute in changing my beloved country. Philippines will be a first world country.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Last Day in SG

Suddenly I felt sad...I'll be missing you Singapore. Your unpolluted air, your systematic transport, your disciplined people, and your good food. I'll definitely come back. Till then SG! See you next time...

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Worldcup

Spain vs Netherlans! who will win?

Fifth Day in Singapore

All I could say is RELAXING!

This day I got to meet up with my best bud Dax, my friends Ludwig and Leah, then my cousin Shawi. The day was the day of big eats. First off was lunch, we ate at an authentic Persian restaurant and Dax ordered a number of good meals. The food was all good, chili and spicy, tasty and aromatic...it was heavenly. By the end of lunch, I was really bloated! One stick of cigarette isn't enough so we walked going to Sim Lim electronic mall to check out the laptops and other electronic gadgets that were on sale.

After checking out the mall, we hung out in a coffee shop and me and Dax had a good "catching up" conversation. That was the time I found out that he and his fiancee broke up already. It was a bad news but I think he's doing okay. It never really crossed my mind that it would happened to them...I mean, these guys are like solid! They've been together for like seven years already. Oh well, I think things really happened for a reason. I know him for ten years already and I'm confident that he'll be fine. Things went bad but he'll be okay.

From the coffee shop we went to check out the Fountain of Wealth in Suntec City. The Largest fountain in the world with the light show was kinda cool. We didn't stay long, we went to take pictures in area where Merlion is standing mightily. After a few minutes of picture taking, we went to Makansutra near the Marina Sands to, guess what...eat! The food there was really awesome! Although it wasn't my first time, it was the first time I tried the stingray meat and it was crazy! Hell delicious! Plus the chili on top of it? Damn. And again, I was bloated for the second time. It was really a good experience. The best part is Dax and Ludwig treated us, free food plus good food equals fantastic.

We parted ways by midnight. It was fun seeing them after three years. They are the same fun people as usual but grown maturely. I'll miss them and I'm really planning to come back. The city, the people, my good buddies, Singapore trip was the best experience.

Tomorrow will be a new day, don't know yet what would be the itinerary for tomorrow. Probably we'll just buy some chocolates in Mustafa mall and chill out somewhere.

We'll be leaving for Philippines by Tuesday morning, so tomorrow will be our last day of stay.

I'd sure miss Singapore; the fun, the learning, the convention, the trips, the chilling out, everything!

Till next time SG!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Third and Fourth Day in SG

Wasn't able to log in yesterday. Got really tired and just had a chat with my buddies.

Sentosa is cool...the beach and the whole island itself. Got to check out China Town as well.
The part of the city where Merlion is located is amazing! It is more kickass during the evening, the lights around the area were like stars scattered in a black blanket. We had a good time eating at Makan Sutra where the place was so alive and busy. We were having a great time till the time we had to walk a loooong way just to cross the street just to get to the bus stop. Well, the good thing about it though is we had a chance to stroll around the business district of Singapore. We were kind of lost since we don't know which bus to take. The funny thing is, there was a Filipino guy just beside us and he only helped us find our way just minutes before we would be alighting from the bus. Well, it wasn't really his fault because he thought that we were just kidding around that we're "lost" since we were all laughing while discussing the route holding a big map.

Some Singaporean girls also were kind of enjoying watching us having a great trouble looking at the map and the streets around. What a night that was.

Friday was our first day in the convention and it was really tight! It was held in Sentosa just beside the Universal Studios. Models and a lot of people from other countries were a sight to see. People in Singapore are really friendly and hospitable. They smile back and doesn't think twice in helping others, but the Indians are sometimes a bit snobby, but it was all good.

Tomorrow will be the last day of our convention and I'm really excited because a number of successful business people and authors will be talking and will be conducting a short training for the participants too.

Just tonight, I just discovered the chocolate paradise in Mustafa mall, and the best thing was there are Lionbars in Mustafa! wohoo! Can't wait to go back there later to buy me some sweets hehehe.

Singapore is a nice city, nothing more.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I Miss Her So Much

It's been three days since I haven't seen my girl. I really miss her so much. This is hard! hahahaha! I'm really crazy! Damn! Eun Hye...what have you done to me?!

I really need to see you! You're like an addiction that I can't deny...

Mwah! Mwah! Saranghae!

Second Day in SG

A day in Botanical Garden. Today, we went to Botanical Gardens not knowing the route going there. We kinda got lost but it was fun. I had a good time riding the bus going around the city. Botanical Garden is nice...but it's so big that it got my feet aching.

Orchard road reminds me of Makati, with it's posh shopping centers and the high class people are flashing left and right, what else can you imagine?

The evening gathering was great! I actually shook the hands of Jack Zufelt! Wow! When he was talking in front, he had an overwhelming positive aura that really nabs your attention. It was a great experience and I'm excited to hear him again on Friday.

Tomorrow will be a new itinerary and I will be meeting my bestfriend in the evening.

Go Sentosa!

till then...

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

First Day in Singapore

So far so good...

We took the train from the airport and it was a great experience. You will never lose your way in Singapore, everything is systemized and with english translations. The sights are okay, the people are of different colors, and the city is clean.

The aroma of different foods, the spice, and other stuff they put in are very arousing to the nose. It will guarantee a drool. Our activities today was just for knowing the things around our hostel, the stores, the restos, and the coffee shops (eun chan I miss you). By 10PM, we'll watch the Germany vs Spain.

Tomorrow is a different day, we'll be touring around the City and will visit Botanical garden. I'll skip the food for tomorrow - hafta watch my diet. I've eaten Persian foods the whole day, big servings of rice! It was a great experience, though.

Our hostel have neighboring pubs and clubs, different girls, young and old are all over the place. The Chinese women are usually the people who are having parties and drinking with men, young and old.

Singapore, hmmm...somewhat like Makati but a bit cleaner, and the cars are right hand drive. Mixed cultures, different personalities...fun!

Tomorrow will be a different day, I'm excited, what will Singapore may have to offer for tomorrow's activities. We'll see...

Awesome lah!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

My Secret Love Affair

A friend giving me that strange leer of his said that much, telling me that I've once again bitten off more than what I could chew, reminding me just how much of fiction has reigned in dictating the path of my non-fictional life. I told him how I’ve lost my way in the twist and turns of my new-found love, and he was still for a few seconds, then put on that embarrassed-look, the one when something not palatable to his tastes gets hurled his way.

I had hoped the fine Saturday afternoon would not lead to my friend’s bewildered-somewhat-understanding-yet-condescending look when I told him how I felt for this girl, but my hopes didn't stall his responses, well worded they may have been. "Dude... reality check. Your heart and brain are functioning okay individually. Don't let them work together with this one..."

I completely agree when my friend said that line to me, I mean how can’t it be if you’re in love with a person that will and can never be yours? You cannot argue with the fact that when you’re in that state of emotion, you tend to be stupid. Every time I think of her, I get mesmerized by her beauty. Every time I see her, euphoria automatically rushes in. What did I get myself into?! What is happening to me?! She is probably the most lovable woman in the world, the type of woman that leaves the merry men fantasizing.

She is great, but I can’t have her. I feel the best when I’m with her, and things around me don’t matter anymore. I am drop dead in love with her. She is awesome. But to have her? It is impossible!

I’m in an underground relationship, a kind of relationship that will give me a pass in an overnight stay in a psychiatric ward if revealed. This love story is mine but is not entirely. A story of the perfect woman that I want to own but owned by someone else.
She likes somebody else. Yeah, yeah…I know, but it doesn’t make me a loser. She likes this guy, an alpha dude who is also, somewhat confused and a happy-go-lucky guy. The man obviously likes her as well but seemed troubled of what he feels. He finds it weird to like her. Ah! High five! Same here bud.

It started one afternoon.
I came to their shop one time to see her. There she was being the ever cheerful waitress, and yep…the alpha male was there too chatting on the telephone with someone - probably a client. Whenever there’s a chance, the guy would really glance to check her out. She also made sure that she smiles at him every time their eyes meet. Well, what can I say, I have a great view. Jealous!? No I’m not! I just feel a bit itchy seeing that their proximity is way better that mine. Like…you know…that thing? Whatever…

You can really see that he makes her happy every time they’re together. They seem to have a good ‘friendly relationship’ when they talk that sometimes could be mistaken as brother-sister relationship. But there is something between them.

Finally she glances at my table; she just caught me staring at her. I paused and smiled. She is amazing! Who wouldn’t notice? What a wonderful smile she has. My heart is melting! Call an ambulance!

Thought of ordering but since I don’t drink coffee I just ordered a bottomless tea. At least I’ll have an excuse to smell her sweet scent every time she serves it.
I waited until the closing time. My butt hurts for sitting for almost four hours. I’ve done reading all the gadget magazines-American and Korean magazines-in the shop.

But my wait was worth it. I got a chance to ride with her on her motorbike until she reached home. I can almost smell and feel her hair, and imagined how it tickles my nose. Her scent, it was fabulous as it dances with her sweet body whiff. Sniff! Aaahhh…it was refreshing. This time it was so intense. I am really into her. Gasp! This should not be happening, I know this feeling! I had it before.

Those girls…wow. I like her smile; she has this charming expression when she smiles that makes me blush. When she giggles and laughs, she explodes in total cuteness and makes me want to bite her nose. My stomach goes up and down every time she has that innocent look. Her big round eyes and plump lips have never failed to keep me dumbfounded. I like the shape of her face that makes me want to kiss every inch of it, and that beautiful neck that had always stolen my stares. When she laughs, it takes me back to my childhood when everything was so bright and full of freedom. I like her playfulness because it reminds me to not live in resentment.
Her diligence and discipline inspires me to also work hard and reach the top. I like her passion because it makes me think that I should live in the present and enjoy what I do. Every time she’s scared and worried, she still handles it in her most gorgeous way; makes me think that I should not worry too much about things. I like her sympathy and kindness. I like her persistence and confidence that drives her life. I like her sweetness, it makes her more and more beautiful. I like the way she look and how she looks.
I can go on and on to how or why I like her. I can give a thousand more reasons to like her even if I give a thousand reasons now.
It is so much easy to like her but my problem isn’t that.
My dilemma is the infamous phenomenon that is very inexplicable. Love. Why do I love her for chrissakes? I tried to figure it out but it always leaves me spaced out. If I think of it right now, this what goes on in my mind-
……………………………………………..*blank*………………………………………………………!
Whoa! Nothing! Nada! Null! I can find no answer. Not a single reason pops out! It is hard for me to grasp the fact that I’m in love with her. I mean, come on! What the hell, right? I wanted to murder the truth, but honestly, even if it bothers me and if it makes me laugh at myself because of my gruesome weirdness…I feel so much alive.
There are times that I would miss her really badly that I tend to distinguish reality. Even if it’s crazy, it excites me more often than enough.
Am I desperate?
Am I deprived of love and of happy relationships?
I don’t think so!
Maybe it’s just happiness…happiness that was brought by inspiration. A God’s blessing to make me feel good and claim the gift He had promised.

I went down to eat dinner, but while I was savoring my food, I caught myself daydreaming of her, God! I can’t take my mind off her. Have I gone mad? I have to see her again! And so I did the next day.

As I was wandering around, I came back to reality. Then suddenly I heard somebody’s talking to each other. I went to the dark corner and peeped behind the fence. It was her! Wait…she is with another guy. The guy seems familiar. I think he is the one who meets her sometimes for snacks, and walks the dog occasionally with her.
I wondered what they were talking about so I
eavesdropped.

The night was silent.
A few laughs are heard from afar…
He was quiet…
She speaks in a voice that draws sadness…
“…to work in the shop to make money was an excuse” she whispered…
“my love for coffee and beans are also an excuse” Now speaking more clearly…
He now grows puzzled and digesting every word that she said…
“I am a big lie” …her eyes now brimming with tears…
“I’m not a boy or a girl anymore”
She catches her breath…aching in pain…
“I only wanted him to like me…”
She stopped walking…
She can’t hide her pain and suffering anymore…
She cries out in devastation…he looked at her with comforting eyes…
“…and I’m scared to tell him” she said…
Her knees now start to fail her…
She sat down sobbing in frustration…
Her howl swallowed the silence of the night…
He now softly touched her head…comforts her as much as he could…
She wanted to shout but could only cough…
She cries…she cries harder…
Why is this happening...?
As I watched her, my heart starts to sink. I wanted to hug her badly but I know I couldn’t. As she cries more, I felt her pain so much that I had to breathe hard, myself.
“Please stop!” my mind was fighting to say but my mouth wouldn’t let me.
How can I be so useless? Her world is crumbling down in front of me but I can only look at her and say nothing. “Please stop! Please stop crying…please…”, but only a wisp of breath came out.

I lit up a cigarette as I tried to understand my feelings. Crap! What got into me? I was stunned from what I saw; it was brain-whacking scene for me!
But somehow, it wasn’t really a big fuss for me - weird huh! I was confident that everything will be fine with both of them.
I went out quietly. I just gazed up to see the stars. I didn’t even pause. Everything was still playing around me but I couldn’t hear anything. It was just me and the deep sky.

The next day I was back at the shop.
I sat down at the table where I usually sit, outside facing the bar.
What’s this? I think they had an argument. Tension was so evident between them.
Ha ha! Now you’re done you alpha dude you! It will be an opportunity for me to get her.
So I waited again ‘til closing.

Everyone left except for my girl, I was about to come near her when suddenly I heard the car of the alpha dude. He’s back! Goddamn it! What does he want now?
She was facing the wall when she noticed a shadow. She was stiffed in surprise not knowing who that could be.
She started to turn her head, and saw that it was him.
“Why did you come back…?”
He now started to step closer with no expression.
She begins to step back, worried, and got stopped by the wall behind her.
He now comes closer…
She puts her arms in a defensive position…
He grasps her hands now sticking her on the wall…
She is really scared now, and all she could do now is to stare in wide eyes…
He dives in to kiss her…
Tears now are starting to form in her eyes…he then moved away…she holds his face…now kisses him…
Her heart is now overflowing…
Tears start to fall down from their eyes…
He opened his eyes as he lift his lips…hurt was in his face…tears still flowing down his cheeks then looks at her…
As she looks at him with aching heart...he said slowly,
“I’m going to say this once, just once, so listen”
“I like you”
More tears poured as she looked intently…
“Whether you’re a man or an alien…I don’t care anymore”
Her heart hurts…but overwhelming with joy
“I tried to get rid of my feelings and I couldn’t…so let’s go as far as we can go…” with a short smile he said,
“Let’s try…”
Both of them are overflowing with happiness…but still seem in doubt…she wrapped her arms around him…probably thinking and wishing that time could stop just now and hold each other as long as they could…

I couldn’t move. My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it.
Suddenly I didn’t feel any resentment, I was not jealous at all. I was even happy from what I saw? What’s this? What’s going on? Was it that traumatic for me that I abruptly became numb?

So it was, the next few days in the shop were full of love and bliss. I am not surprised on what’s going on: I just felt elated with what I am seeing. Lots of smiles and teasing. People around the neighborhood probably felt the good aura and started to come in the shop.

Minutes later, the shop was full. The environment is light and filled with joy. I was happy and I am satisfied just seeing her. I made the right decision to be in hiatus in visiting her, well, for my own recuperation I suppose. I didn’t visit the shop for a long time. I’ve heard that she went to study abroad but she’s back now. I always imagine her smile, her eyes that smiles with her every time she glanced at me. Her round eyes that kindle joy…those fascinating eyes that speak out her emotions. Eyes that could just bring out a sigh…

I chose to feel this way, I chose be in this situation now. Why? Well, the picture of her in my mind never failed to inspire me. Even if she can never be mine and fantasizing is all I can do…I can still say that I am lucky. She touched my life. The most amazing woman; the perfect lady that I’ve always seek out, and the dream that I thought was just an illusion, I’ve seen her at last.

I stopped. Lit up the last stick I have. Contemplating at this crazy thing that’s happening to me, I took several puffs. Dawn is starting to break and when I heard the dogs barking outside, I suddenly felt tired. I put off my cigarette and turned off the lights.
As I closed my eyes, I felt my mouth arched to form a smile. Maybe my friend is really right. When your heart starts to function for someone or something, your mind starts to malfunction…you become stupid and steps out from reality.
I’m so in love, and yet I’m uncertain.
I’m so happy, and yet I know I’d be happier if she was real.
I love her…so what?
It’s my greatest wish that she could call me “Oppa”

I slowly lose consciousness…then my mouth whispered…
“eun chan…my eun chan…”


The End



Friday, July 2, 2010

International Act

July 30 will be the concert of Coheed and Cambria in the Philippines. I've been waiting for this for too long. I'm stoked! I already got the ticket and already invited my friends. This is month is gonna be great!

The list of songs I'd like them to perform:

Good Eye Sniper
Welcome Home
Wake Up
The Suffering
Always and Never
Faint of Heart
Final Cut
Goodnight
Once Upon Your Dead Body
Ten Speed

Wohoo!!! I can't wait! Franco Reyes will also be there as well as front act!

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